Through the last 4 years, I've changed how I interact with my peers. I've learned, through trial and error, the many subtle mistakes that I've been making, and have done my best to address them. I've noticed my relationships with friends and family improve and I feel more secure and content around them.
But when faced with problems with authority (most recently: professor, landlady, EMT instructor), I find I revert to my passive-aggressive ways that I perfected in high school. Avoiding the problem, gossiping, backbiting, reveling in the role of victim: I retreat into time tested, outdated, habits.
This duality bothers me because I know, from my rational side, that I am compounding the problem. Perhaps I haven't had enough experience and am growing socially lopsided? Maybe I'll never need to learn this skill. As I grow older/wiser, the number of people who are my peers increases, and each new person I meet is framed as an equal.
I used to address all adults older than me by "Mr." or "Mrs." Now, I take the first name. But I can't let go of that convention with those I've already met. I don't think I ever will. And my bad habits will still be there, but I hope they rarely have to be used.
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