Block 2 coming up, just need a quick moment to refresh, I have a few entries that I haven't posted, didn't have the time to edit them, but they're sitting saved, ready for my own review:
I was told by a close friend that others consider me fake, that I try too hard. I was really disturbed by this comment at first, especially because I'm actively trying for the opposite effect. I tried to understand from their viewpoint and this is the best explanation I could come up with.
1) Some people consider it fake because they wouldn't be able to do it without faking. Split personalities are observed because I tailor my interactions to each person I talk to. Just because I don't talk to you the way I talk to others does not mean I'm being fake. I can adapt my style to others and I will not allow my own emotions or biases to negatively affect the conversation.
2) What they see as trying too hard is me performing normally. They believe that they would have to try too hard to do what I do, thus I must be trying too hard as well. What I'm doing right now? This is second nature for me. I compete fully at every moment. Because if I didn't, I would feel like I'm cheating myself or others by not utilizing my potential. Plus, by doing so, I find and push my limits. I'm giving everything I can right now, yes. But I always do that. Enjoy the benefits.
I understand that it's natural for people to be suspicious, because they are worried that there's a catch. I'm fine with that; in life, there usually is. But they haven't known me before. I hope they give it some time and see the consistency that I bring.
But he also brought up an interesting point. I have few lasting friendships. For all the popularity, I am pretty sure that I won't be talking to these classmates after we graduate. And I'm not bothered by that. But others are. It doesn't make sense, and I suppose I stopped trying to figure it out.
more to follow on this subject. The task at hand is to focus and find those who I can trust.
I never got the impression that you're fake at all! Where did that come from!? Who are these other people? People who try too hard are the insecure types, and I haven't met anyone like that from our class (although there is one kid who often tries to contradict me when I am explaining some concept to classmates, just to seem like an authority).
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that you adjust your interactions to whomever you talk to. It's simply good social sense. Only social retards would treat everyone the same. Personally, you're one of the few people I would be willing to introduce to anyone I know (and invite to stuff), because I know you can handle yourself well socially and that would add value to the whole group.
Philip
Keep competing fully Sheppard. Our class appreciates everything that you do for us and for all the hard work.
ReplyDelete