Hunger Sounds

Lesson of the Day: Don't chew gum on an empty stomach, especially in class.  Your tummy will growl uncomfortably and incessantly, especially if the gum is one of the delicious new Trident Layers.

Landsick

After 6 hours in a rocking sailboat, I'm feeling seasick.  Unexpectedly, I feel it when I stay still on land, such as while typing this blog.  I have to keep moving.  The whole world feels like it's gently rocking me back and forth.

Curious: the pattern of movement I feel is similar to routine swaying of the boat on a figure 8 tack.  Gentle left and right for about ten strokes.  Then an abrupt rotation for the tack.  Repeat.  I'm surprised at how consistently my brain has been tricked and conditioned to the waves.

Now if I could only find some diphenhydramine....

Asian Americans

An article that grabbed my attention and wouldn't let go: Paper Tigers

Upon first glance: Hmm, interested, contemporary Asian American sociology...
Second look: Oh sheesh, there's no way I'm going to read 11 pages!
Third page: Wow.....I'm hooked....got to see this to the end.

Some excerpts (edited, rephrased, and interpreted by me):

Asian men need to learn to cause trouble.  Not the trouble that gets you arrested or expelled, but the kind that gets you noticed.  There are rules to follow and rules to break, rules that protect you and rules that chain you.  The art is in learning the difference.

Leaders have a distinct kind of defiance; they are willing to push themselves into the spotlight and to create some noise, to make mistakes, to become entrepreneurs, and to dare to be interesting. Until we can embody those qualities and capture the attention of society, we will forever be relegated to mid level employees.

In college, editors at the Orlando Sentinel invited him to write about sports for the paper. But when he visited the offices, “the editor came in and goes, ‘Oh, no.’ And his exact words: ‘You can’t write with that face.’ ” Later, in film class at Columbia, he wrote a script about an Asian-American hot-dog vendor. “The screenwriting teacher was like, ‘I love this. You have a lot of Woody Allen in you. But do you think you could change it to Jewish characters?’ ” Still later, after graduating from Cardozo School of Law, he took a corporate job, where other associates would frequently say, “You have a lot of opinions for an Asian guy.”

Establishing the Fountainhead

You say you want my secrets.  You say you want to know how I really feel.  I don't think you do.

Are you ready to hear me cry out for help?  Are you prepared to battle alongside me?  Will you suffer my thoughts, my fears, my dreams?  I don't think so.

I am alone.  But I am not lonely.  I do not spread my struggles in search of pity or aid. Your help is welcome, but I cannot, will not, depend upon it.

"I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."
-Ayn Rand

Three months and $500 later

I remember when I first saw a recording of this piece.  It was so unassuming at first, just a simple chord progression, easy enough for a novice.  But once the double stops started, I was hooked.  This song is popular, challenging, and best of all, played without accompaniment.

At the time, I needed a mountain to climb, and the upcoming school talent show gave me the perfect excuse to once again walk the path to performance.  Some milestones along the way:

OMM treatment on my wrists and shoulder -> first experience with cranial
Berkeley Little Star -> stumbled upon without directions, ordered on the spot
Ifshin Violin Shops -> a surreal escape
Super Bowl Performance
Amped up

Walk the talk

I was not elected as COM President.  The news surprised me tonight, for sure.  But it didn't upset me. I said I respect the election process. It sounded catchy at the time. I truly do, though!  I must have repeated those words so many times that I internalized them.

The way I see it: this last year, I had a formal experience as Class President.  I served. I gained. I achieved triumphs, I admitted mistakes.  Now someone else deserves to have the same chance, the same opportunity, that I did, to develop as a leader in a position of low actual risk. 

Don't get me wrong: I do believe that I was the best candidate to serve.  This isn't specific to this situation; it's a general attitude.  I personally think that nobody should enter a race like this if he doesn't think he's the best for the job.  If you think your competitor is a better choice than you, how can you run in good conscience? You should step down and give up on the spot.

However, the school made the choice and that, in itself, is right.  That's democracy isn't it?  Whatever the majority votes is the right thing to do. The results of the election do not make me doubt my self worth nor my choices during the election, as I'm sure it would have 5 years ago.  What I could have done as COM President, I can do for any organization, and when I'm needed, I can give again.

The only conscious effort I have had to make is to leave behind my curiosity about the vote distribution.  Finding out who voted for who, how close or far the race was: that would indeed be "true but useless."  My sister said once, "Have strong beliefs, yet hold them loosely."  Fight hard in every contest, but leave your battles in the ring.  It's easy to follow the first part of these rules.  Now is my time to prove I can live by the latter.*

A victory speech does not require a win. Thank you to everybody who supported me during this election process. I deeply appreciate every moment you gave me, from your vote to your suffering through my emails, videos, and speeches.  Halfway through this campaign, I found a way to advocate for myself with integrity. That ability is reward enough for this entire experience.

*edit: I just received an email telling me where I could find out the breakdown of votes. This is my chance to walk away!

Rephrasing the lines

I have been asking classmates for their vote throughout this week.  It's uncomfortable and I think I understand why.  During that instant, I put a burden on the classmate: I'm asking him/her to commit on the spot and make a decision under pressure.  With blocks looming in the not-quite-so-distant future, we don't need anymore stress in our lives.

Additionally, whatever his/her choice, he/she has to calculate how to tactfully deliver the response, taking into consideration both myself and the other classmates that are present. I know that I have a difficult time with moments when I'm forced to be politely dishonest.  It is grating and frustrating when I can't express how I truly feel. I can imagine a classmate feeling the same.

So, here's the revised approach:

My name is SP.  I am running for COM President.  Do you have any questions for me?  Please remember to vote before the end of the week.  Thank you.

I'm running for a position.  I'm here if you need me.  The relationship is centered on you.

Vote for who you wish to win.  That decision should be yours to decide, without distraction. I will no longer tell you to vote for me. I respect your autonomous judgement and your choice.

All I ask is that you do choose.  Exercise your right to vote.  Let the results of this election reflect the desires of the entire College of Osteopathic Medicine, not of a select few.

Sincerely,

SP