Free time

I don't know how to vacation.

If given 15 minutes to relax, I know what to do: I'd check my email, read the internet news, practice a song or two. I know how to get the most out of small snippets of time.

But when faced with a complete day off, with no pressure, these same activities feel empty. These last two weekends, where I've had no work to do, no impending tests, no upcoming events, I've felt strange. It's ridiculous to look back on a weekend and realize I was sitting in front of a computer all day, refreshing my inbox and bookmarks, waiting for an update.

Time for a new hobby? That was the first thought that came to mind. But I have enough hobbies. Magic, musical instruments, video editing, These are all areas that I've dipped into and should develop further. I have all the information but am not using it.

I guess it's fitting that I don't anticipate much free time in the near future.

Once in a Lifetime

Take any kid from junior high and you'll find someone who is absolutely, positively ready for a once in a lifetime event. He will know exactly what to do when thrust on the stage of a rock concert, given the ball in the final seconds, or presented with love at first sight.

Fast forward to professional life. Somewhere growing up, that awareness of the unexpected is lost. Take healthcare, for example. Each symptom is a piece of the puzzle that contributes to the diagnosis. Taking all the signs together, one can make a pretty strong case: let's say with 90% certainty. Good enough, they say: to claim absolute certainty is both foolish and impossible. And when we gain these satisfactory leads, we must follow them. There's not a doctor in the world who will say, "Oh look, it's the same case as the last nine that I saw. But this being the tenth, I should pick the 10% option." Not only would that sort of reasoning be mathematically unsound, it would never hold up in court.

But here's the weird part. Eventually, that rare case will come. Without a doubt. And we will choose the wrong course of action. 100% of the time. It's as if we are slaves to our experience. The irony is that although we associate experience with better judgment, it also cements the inevitable wrong choice.

This vulnerability frustrates me because there seems to be no easy remedy. There's no way to protect against it without costing inordinate amounts of time, effort, and money. Maybe this is the modern day Sword of Damocles, a peril ever present to remind us of our limitations.

I hope this .0001% event happens to me soon. Get it out of the way, and with such low chances, it's unlikely to happen twice in a lifetime....right?

Hmmmmmm....



share this: facebook

Spring Break

This spring break, I learned how to shop for housing. After dodging sketchy neighborhoods, cougars, pets, and children, the final matchup was clear:

In the blue corner, a near perfect loft/studio, fully furnished. Leather chairs, a cedar kitchen table, and a full kitchen. It was the perfect bachelor pad. The rent: $900/month, including utilities

In the red corner, right across the street, one bedroom of a house owned by a couple. Barebone: a tiny ikea computer desk stations, an old mattress, and a grimy mirror. Rent: $500/month, including utilities.

The verdict: 500/month wins. It was a hard choice; that studio was amazing. I still remember how I felt when I climbed the stairs and was met at once with the whole room. It felt like a picture of my future, how I'd live when I graduate.

But I need to stay grounded. $400 extra a month isn't anything to laugh at. Over two years, that will add up to $9600 extra. Calculate a 6% interest on the student loans and the net result after ten years will be an additional $20,000 to pay off.

Sometimes, when I rationalize myself out of things I want, I wish I wasn't so good at math :)