Why I Like Indians

After a surge of Bollywood (Namesake, Slumdog Millionaire, My Name Is Khan) in my life, I have a theory:

In the US, Indian and Chinese males share similar media portrayals.  Both are often stereotyped as socially awkward, inarticulate, highly intelligent, and undersexed characters.  I'm sure you can quickly call to mind an actor that matches at least 2 of these traits.

Now, when I see a movie with a Chinese stereotype, I can feel myself bristling in defense.  As I like to tell everyone, I see right through the illusion!  I resolve to fight the preconceived notions that people will undoubtedly create before they meet me!  I will tear down the negative stereotype of Asians, all by myself. 

But when watching an Indian stereotype, I start slipping into a mode of understanding, of expectation.  I let myself nod my head, as if this is what I expected, this is how it's supposed to be. It takes a few minutes for me to realize that I'm committing an equal injustice to a very similar minority group.

I'm seeing that Indian through the same lens that a white person views me.  Subconsciously collecting all  previous depictions of his race and projecting them upon him.  It takes active effort to clear my mind of the expectations. I know what I'm doing and how harmful it is.  But that doesn't prevent the thought from intruding.

Maybe I should cut people some slack for generalizing.  The human subconscious is too powerful and too sneaky to ignore.

Or I need to redouble my efforts...

Going home

When the scenery goes from endless highway to recognizable landmarks.

When the signs start to say "Santa Maria 30mi"

When the favorite radio stations become receivable.

When the ocean comes into view on my right.

When I use my housekey for the first time in years.

When I walk on the cold hardwood floor.

When I switch on the flickering, fluorescent kitchen lights.

When I am surrounded by comfortable messiness, random structure, undetectable organization.

When I approach bookshelves crammed with children's series.

When I spot cardboard boxes full of Legos.

When I wash my hands with soft water.

When I hear my dad's signature callout.

I know I'm home.

Refresh

Block 2 coming up, just need a quick moment to refresh, I have a few entries that I haven't posted, didn't have the time to edit them, but they're sitting saved, ready for my own review:

I was told by a close friend that others consider me fake, that I try too hard.  I was really disturbed by this comment at first, especially because I'm actively trying for the opposite effect. I tried to understand from their viewpoint and this is the best explanation I could come up with.

1) Some people consider it fake because they wouldn't be able to do it without faking. Split personalities are observed because I tailor my interactions to each person I talk to.  Just because I don't talk to you the way I talk to others does not mean I'm being fake.  I can adapt my style to others and I will not allow my own emotions or biases to negatively affect the conversation. 

2) What they see as trying too hard is me performing normally.  They believe that they would have to try too hard to do what I do, thus I must be trying too hard as well.  What I'm doing right now? This is second nature for me.  I compete fully at every moment.  Because if I didn't, I would feel like I'm cheating myself or others by not utilizing my potential.  Plus, by doing so, I find and push my limits.  I'm giving everything I can right now, yes.  But I always do that.  Enjoy the benefits.
 
I understand that it's natural for people to be suspicious, because they are worried that there's a catch.  I'm fine with that; in life, there usually is.  But they haven't known me before.  I hope they give it some time and see the consistency that I bring.

But he also brought up an interesting point.  I have few lasting friendships.  For all the popularity, I am pretty sure that I won't be talking to these classmates after we graduate.  And I'm not bothered by that.  But others are.  It doesn't make sense, and I suppose I stopped trying to figure it out.

more to follow on this subject.  The task at hand is to focus and find those who I can trust.